He is still so busy at work that we never have time together. Her mother, Ann, is busy making food. Chapman in his book talks about languages and dialects. Voice 1 The love language of quality time takes time and effort. Peter and Sue had trouble talking together. But is it worth it? Do you know how to speak this love language? Sometimes our words say one thing, but our tone of voice says another. You have got to submit this stuff to some magazines.
Physical Touch Physical touch is a powerful communicator, Chapman explains. I cannot play right now. Practice active listening by giving him your undivided attention, not interrupting, making eye contact and asking questions for clarity. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking. He used to think that a text message a day from him would be enough and I used to think he should be happy with a hug as he walks through the front door! Your words paint pictures that I can visualize.
One of the main dialects of quality time, says Chapman, is quality conversation. Why not choose one to express love to your spouse today? If I am unmarried, but in a romantic relationship with someone who has an opposite love language, should I jump ship and find someone who shares the same love language? That is her most frequent type of request. Every day, my husband writes me a letter. When my husband tells me that he recognizes my sacrifices and sufferings, I feel closer to him. Seek to learn from it.
Reach out by asking questions or offering to talk about it more instead. How often do you think about your spouse throughout your day? Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Now off you go and put this into action. Make plans to do one of them each month for the next five months. Dates at home or going out, with kids or no kids. Chapman and his book The Five Love Languages.
In an earlier program we told about the first love language:. What do you do to let others know that you need a gesture of physical touch? The most important thing is to have fun! Does it mean we have to give up some individual activities? We lack courage, which often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. It becomes very easy to neglect that quality time with your spouse.
If your partner asks you to help her prepare for a party they are hosting and you come through in a timely manner that is a good thing. Then make sure to listen to the other programs in this series. In order for your partner to feel loved, you must reveal some of yourself, too. Every child is born with a love tank and I compare it to a gas tank in a car. A visual symbol of affection, gift giving is fundamental to love. The Essence of Quality Time A central aspect of quality time is togetherness.
Learning to speak this love language may require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives. Words of affirmation keep me alive, and in turn I give them readily. Focus on Your Spouse There is a difference between encouraging words and nagging words. Also, some people find it embarrassing to give or receive a compliment face to face and having it done via the written word can take away some of that uneasiness for the giver or receiver. Could you guess what my love language is? I was in Chicago when I studied anthropology. Also, see below for a variety of ways to convey words of affirmation, how to accept affirmations and compliments gracefully very important , and what readers of The 5 Love Languages have to say about the book. Holding hands, kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one's spouse.
The love language of quality time has many dialects. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. For those people, physical touch is their emotional lifeline. Humble words: Love makes requests, not demands. Again, ask your wife, but then again, she probably has already told you.
How To Get It Focus on the. Especially if your partner doesn't have as much time as you, you have to make it count. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse. How do I communicate what my love language is to others? When one person is bending over backwards to please the other and the effort goes unappreciated, it can lead to entrenched relationship-killing resentment, so efforts to rekindle will need a distinct change of direction. A willingness to examine and change stereotypes may be necessary in order to express love more effectively. You may crave something else. With communication and a little patience you should be able to find some common ground where you're both feeling satisfied.