Get ready for guilt trips, silent treatments, finger-pointing, button-pushing, and manipulation. He should also assure her that he and his wife still love her, but that the relationship has changed and he is in charge now. It seemed as if he constantly had to choose between being a good husband and being a good son. If they ignore you, don't answer the door the next time they just happen to drop-by. For example, consider Michael and Leanne, a married couple in Australia. I suppose that would depend on an individual basis what your mother in law is like as a person.
It seems that more often than not, when giving advice to young married couples, we tell the daughter in law, to shut up, bite her tongue, and accept verbal and emotional disrespect from the husband's parents. She has a golden child, my husband, and has pictures of him all over her house -- but not the other siblings. And if you really can't say anything nice, shut up and smile. She has become so emotionally abusive to her son my husband , that he is experiencing major health problems because of it. I truly believe her biggest fear is having one of her 3 children turn their back on her, like she did to her own mother. I do not go to her house anymore because she treats me as if I am non-existant- she wont even speak to me.
I stay as far away as possible because I can't afford to be depressed again which would mean it would affect my son. Define boundaries which you consider to be bottom lines that may not be crossed and make you feel violated when they are, and make them clearly known. Don't let her bait you into an emotional reaction. His mom has always hated me and made it clear from day one. Try and figure out all the reasons that are causing your mother in law to behave in the overbearing way.
If your husband or wife starts fighting with the primary family, stay out of it. We all had that dream of meeting Mr. What if you said something like this to your mother-in-law? Learn to see the situation from your in-law's point of view. Jenny, quoted at the outset, suggests one possibility. This so he could think about it without two parties pulling at him at the same time. His parents are alcoholics day drink about a 30 pack of beers a night and his mom takes about 10 shots of fireball at night.
Tell them to repeat it in front of a friend or your fiance. You got engaged recently and it's something that can trigger a bit of anxiety in your fiance's mother. In your discussions, no matter how heated, stick with the facts. To establish her dominance, she will expect you to please her. Whether such complaints are actually justified or not, they at least breed resentment in the young wives and may start dissension's between them and their husbands. This caused conflict within our marriage because my wife still wanted to be close to her family, especially her mother.
While we're at it, play nice. Sometimes, the hardest thing for a loving parent to do is to let go of their child. This site is not about them, stop making excuses for bad behavior some people are not so lucky to have supportive in-laws and need help setting boundaries. Let your husband continue his relationship with his mother, but you don't have to be involved all the time. We have been also residing in almost separate countries but she still use to bad mouth about me. Despite all the difficulties or challenges, there are actually many ways of dealing with an overbearing mother in law.
I have no idea what to do with this woman anymore. But you were right, there is God. I have also tried everything on the list of tips. These are rather tricky situations Jyoti and I feel for you. As a result, we have become much closer as husband and wife. The situations and solutions presented are real, practical and simple to implement. For example, is a coolish relationship possible? I spent the 1st 15 being ripped apart by exactly what you are going through now.
Although it will be more difficult to have privacy when living with the in-laws, there are things you can do. She and all her children are fine. So when you find yourself in their company, do the following: 7. Most people will fall for that. He felt bad and returned to her and remained firmly up her asd for the remainder of my pregnancy. This woman is a true monster in-law. I wonder how can she invests so much time in criticising me but later on i found that she is like that with almost everyone.
Instead of being a grandma to her first grandchild, she's rather looks for some messed up way to stir trouble instead. But since they come from different family backgrounds, if they are sensitive it is easy for the young wife to feel that her husband's parents interfere with them too much, and for the husband to feel the same way about his wife's parents. A great help for a lot of females who cannot figure out what to do in these type of situations. Dealing with an overbearing mother in law can be a very daunting challenge. But yes if she has constant expectations which she thinks are not getting fulfilled, I would suggest to ignore few of the things and do things in your way. She just kept seeing the baby as extension of herself, her obsession peaked so much that at a point i felt like i was just a 'medium' to give her a grandchild. They should by all means not impose their own views on their children.
Wives cannot do all the work!!. For example, say she goes through your bag. She ran up cell phone bills in his name to over 3000. Give her a chance to think about how to talk to you. Now that my baby turned 1 I can feel more things are going to be more difficult with her. I do not want to be one, not in theory. The in laws have never shown an interest in our children, only my husband.