But, here I am trying to put my pieces back together, hoping they all fit again. I visit my dad regularly and my ex makes sure that he is outside and clearly visible when I am there. He chased me for 2 months before I gave in and it was wonderful for about 6 weeks until I began seeing red flags which I ignored. The only way to take back the power here is to refuse to respond. I have great difficulty getting her out of my mind.
He's so perfect and annoying, but sweet. Sadly, at firstI thought we could have a cordial relationship but with him everyhting ends up in an argument is very exhausting and pointless. He came in the room and said good morning. She also showed the letter to all her friends like some trophy and this further destroyed me emotionally. So if you stop giving, he will have nothing to take. As that unmoving thing was waiting all along for you to notice it, so too does the whole world now stretch out in all directions, patiently awaiting your discovering gaze; and so too does every thing hold its story trapped inside it like a spirit, waiting for you to utter the incantation that will release it. I have been separated for almost four years and I am in the middle of a divorce process.
In english it is just a weak weak word meaning an uncircumcised big boy. At the end, the woman who I had become, over time, was unrecognizable to me because I had moved so far away from my natural self. It just takes a little bit of work and focus on your part. This ex seems to have left the N and I know that the N was down for half a year. Anyway email me if you would like for support since there are only a small percent of us guys being used by girl N.
I caught him many times on lies, promises he would not hold. I am left feeling broken and powerless and hopeless. What does your ex do to feel special? My advice is to keep a list of his offenses and read it every time he occupies your thoughts. It is hard but it does take a deep soul searching to come to grasp with what we have gone through and why it happened. Basically, either you or the narcissist has to lose.
You seem to be expecting her to be grateful for the help you gave her when you supported her for a year. The hatred you feel regarding being cheated on is regret, and regret is a prison that keeps you stuck in the past. July 5, 2017 Hi Jan, that is true reenacting it without shifting the trauma up and out of our Inner Being is simply regurgitation. The horrible thing about the cycle of violence is that the abuse intensifies and the cycle becomes tighter and tighter and more frequent. I am not saying I do not miss them and their growing up I only had 2 short years with them in my life but they are grown men now and they have had a narcissist mother that they are going to have to come to terms with. I sit here and read and had to keep stopping. August 8, 2017 Hi Lauren, I am so glad you did too! I so understand how hard it is to put the past behind you, but use your knowledge to empower yourself and continue to grow.
He isnt anyone I want to be around but i am still hurt. A classic narcissist needs attention and praise… but not by everyone per se. I made a commitment to address my inner wounding and it has changed my life. She was hypercritical of me, emotionally abusive, deemed me to be a hopeless loser who would never amount to anything I think this is how she felt justified in rejecting me. He had a daughter and now we have one together. There is something in my that just cant quite let someone get completely over on me.
First he showed up at my door about a water bottle. I need this to end. I was scared of lengths he would go to aka violence like you are afraid of , but this never happened. I feel like I must have a little narcissist inside of me too. Letting go means setting goals for yourself.
And how do I know whether I am just placing the blame elsewhere? God bless you Deb October 2, 2018 Hi Peggy, I am just recently healing and learning about the dynamics in my family with my sister and my father. Which of course, that plays right into his. You are doing such an awesome job! I believe him to have a personality disorder. That is a compliment in itself. In those instances, I have and will continue to recommend complete and total separation. Quite helpful to find all this after being subjected to one of his more extreme gaslighting rages when I, at that point, was together, secure and sobre and able to come away in no doubt that it was all about him, and probably unsaveable.
She will be deceitful, self serving, manipulative and profoundly unfair. August 2, 2017 Dear Melanie, I have come to the painful realization that I am a Narcissist myself. My parents have abused every one of their relatives in the same way they have abused me. This went on for years…. One of you said I am grieving what I have never had. I have no problem with that at all.